Question: How to know if the person you’re with is to be your wife/husband and if God wants you two to be together?
Answer: Perhaps some people recognize their other half in one another and become husband and wife. I think that marriage is a matter of the heart to a large extent. But if the attraction is only superficial, and external beauty is its main object, what seems to us as love can be only an infatuation, an attractive mirage or some other passion, all of which will eventually wear off.
When we let our passions guide us, there will always be mistakes. But you can meet someone close, dear, and important to you if you genuinely listen to your heart. If you care to listen to it, the heart will tell you without a shadow of a doubt if this is someone you cannot live without. That's when you should start a family.
What about marrying someone simply because he is a “nice person”? Some practicality in choosing a partner is a good thing, on the one hand. But on the other, even if someone is good-looking, earns enough to support a family, and is free from addictions (which is a good thing), but if there is no feeling for that person, is it worth it? On the other hand, someone may love another so much that they would be prepared to die for them, even if they were an alcoholic. It is not always straightforward.
A marriage based on rational calculus alone is rarely successful. If a spouse makes enough and supports the family well, would not that be a good enough reason to stay together? “What more can one ask for?” some will say. But one should never forget that marriage has a much deeper meaning, which transgresses rational calculations. That is why family life is a feat. That is what makes a couple, a husband and wife, who have lived together for many years, have not divorced, and are still holding hands despite their old age, a spectacular life achievement. They have made spectacular progress towards sanctity and made themselves truly holy.
