Question: I want to enter into the Church and catechumenate with my two young boys. But my wife is a non-practicing Roman Catholic, who lives a completely secular lifestyle, and has no interest in church or faith. I’ve been attending services with my boys a few times a month, but want us to eventually become baptized and faithful parishioners, as a family. My wife isn’t interested in the demands of Orthodoxy, on soul and body. What do I do?
The answer from Fr Andrew Lemeshonok:
Well, it all has to begin with you. Love your wife, do not cause her any hurt, and do your best to keep things peaceful at home. And when it comes to the children, once you are baptized with them… I know this from my own life: after baptism, you are made new. You start to see the world in a completely different light.
You have a family, and you are responsible for it. So, if you become a Christian — if you start going to church, praying, going to confession and taking Communion — I am certain that, in time, if you live it out in the right way and do not try to force anything, your wife will eventually come around. She will find her way to the church, to an Orthodox church, and become Orthodox right there alongside you. Then you will be an Orthodox family of believers. That is the only way it can happen.
It all comes down to your own love, wisdom, patience, and humility. A family is not just there for entertainment, after all; it is where we learn about love and how to be humble. Keeping yourself in check matters enormously. It is a real training ground for your inner life, and if we have not been through that school, it is all too easy for the enemy to sow division between you. Then, after your baptism, the troubles will begin, and you might catch yourself thinking, ‘But I was baptized, I go to church, and my wife is not a believer — that must be why our life together is so difficult.’
No, of course, that is not it at all! So, go and be baptized, and get your children baptized as soon as you possibly can. Build up your strength from within, and pray hard that your family finds oneness and love.
