The question: To what extent does God's will determine whether someone is called to monasticism or marriage? Is it that if God calls you to the monastic life, any attempt at marriage is bound to fail, or do we always retain genuine free will to choose our path-with God blessing us regardless of whether we choose marriage or monasticism?
The answer from Fr. Oleg Kovalenko:
God bless you! Monasticism and sacramental marriage are two ways of salvation for a Christian's soul. The Lord blesses both paths, and the Church believes that the Lord God helps a person on the path he has chosen. Success in both cases depends on the same foundations: living according to the Gospel, fulfilling the commandments, and being ready to give one's life for others.
Each person may feel a certain predisposition - either to monasticism or to marriage – but only God knows with certainty. The set of qualities, virtues and talents given by God help a person to discern his or her vocation throughout life. With prayer and trust in God, this becomes clearer and more salvific. Sometimes discerning elders or spiritual directors can help reveal a person's calling and set them on the right path through prayer to God.
If your heart is drawn to the sacrifice, patience and love required in family life, the Lord will bless your marriage. If your soul yearns for solitude, deep prayer and the service of God in monasticism (chastity, obedience, non-possession), the Lord will also strengthen you on this path. Living according to the commandments and striving for Christian virtues will make the path narrower, but still salvific.
