Question: Would God forgive me if I unalive myself? I want to live but I also don't want to live. If I continued living this life, the remorse that I felt would always be there. Would a loving God let me just go to hell because I killed myself?
The answer of Fr. Andrew Lemeshonok to the question:
My dear sister, even a fool can kill herself. But living — that is hard. Put to death your “old self” and be born for a new life, because life is God’s gift. When someone raises a hand against herself, she raises a hand against God, Who gave her life. And so such an act is completely out of bounds.
There is a ruling that if someone was not in his right mind, mentally ill, we can still serve the funeral service for him in his absence. Because he did it without knowing what he was doing. He was in a sick state, in some kind of fit.
But someone in a sound mind has probably just broken down and cannot bear himself, cannot bear the circumstances. That is why confession exists, and the church exists. Put yourself into God’s hands.
I believe your life could be of great help to very many people — if you, forgetting yourself, work for others. That is your way, not despair and self-destruction.
