As a young boy, Klaus Kennet faced cruelty and violence, and spent his life trying to escape what felt like a living hell. He looked for truth in dark magic, with Hindu gurus and Mexican shamans, and even in a Buddhist temple, but only sank deeper into darkness and loneliness. Then meeting Father Sophrony (Sakharov) showed him what real mercy and love look like.
Klaus is now an Orthodox Christian who travels widely and speaks about how he came to Christ. On his first visit to our monastery, he told us how he found faith and met the Living God.
- Klaus, the Russian version of your book is titled "2,000,000 Kilometres to Love". And the title reflects just how long that road was for you. You looked for answers in the occult, you were a Buddhist monk, and you were drawn to Hinduism. Can you say what those teachings lacked? Why could you not find any peace, and what kept you looking?
- It was how impersonal it all was; that is what left me so unsettled. In every faith except Christianity, I felt like just another cog in the machine, a follower, a thing. I was not somebody. I wanted to be myself, to matter as myself.
When I was small, my family left me behind. My father left, my mother placed me in the care of a Catholic priest who abused me for seven years. I waited for understanding and acceptance from my parents, but it never came.
At seventeen, I formed a beat group, "The Screamers," and became well known as a singer. The success helped me deal with the pain a little. But I can see now that the world's approval only comforts you for a short while. My soul ached, and I kept on looking for real love.
- In your autobiography you write that you did not know your birth father and had no support from him. Did you feel terribly alone?
- It was hell, simple as that. I was on my own for thirty-six years. Only when I met Jesus did I feel I was not alone any more.
- Could we say hell is… being alone?
- Absolutely. Loneliness is hell. I still stand by that. God made us to be together. And to me, parents who turn their children away, who leave them behind, are criminals.
- At what moment did you break through that loneliness and feel God's closeness and presence?
- When He first spoke to me. His voice was unlike anything I had heard before. For me it was a complete turn from my former life.
- How was that voice different from others?
- First, in what it said: "Come, I have forgiven your sins." I had tried every religion — Buddhism, Hinduism, various sects — but if I slipped up, I got punished. Now here was forgiveness.
And second — the love I felt was so intense, I cannot put it into words. It was aimed right at me, as a person. Full of warmth and kindness.
Writer Klaus Kennet
- How did this come about?
- Well, I was in Calcutta, back when I was drawn to Hinduism. I met Mother Teresa there — she was looking after her charities in the slums for the poor and the dying. After talking with her, my whole belief in Hinduism just fell to pieces. I had been meaning to go to Tibet, to become a Buddhist, but she warned me that without God, I would stay stuck in pain.
I had had some bad experiences with Christians in my childhood; I thought they were all hypocrites, and I just could not bring myself to pray to Christ. She told me to pray to the Mother of God; that she would watch over me and speak to God on my behalf. She opened my palm and pointed to the life-lines that form the letter "M" — a reminder that the Mother of God is always near.
Mother Teresa
But I kept on searching, and went through quite a lot before a friend of mine, Ursula, took me to see a Protestant minister.
For ages, I could not get Jesus' name out. It was like my mouth felt glued shut.
The minister reckoned dark forces had a hold on me. He prayed over me to break their grip.
By then, I had lost faith in all religions and was slow to trust Christians. I thought to myself, "Well, if Jesus really is the Son of God and has risen from the dead, then He must be alive. And if He is alive, He can talk to me." So I decided to put it to Him: if He spoke to me, then I would believe.
Just then, there was a service going on at the Protestant cathedral in Lausanne for the yearly Days of Repentance and Prayer. Communion was about to start, and I did not know if I was allowed to take it, as I was not a Christian yet. So I closed my eyes and asked inside myself, "Jesus, do You want me to come up?" And right that second, I heard Him answer — like He had been waiting. A clear voice said, "Yes, come. I have forgiven you everything."
Meeting with the writer
- And when you met Father Sophrony later on, was his voice anything like that voice of God you had heard?
- No. God's voice is one of a kind. I felt then like an ice cube. God's voice was like boiling water poured over me. That scalding water surrounded me completely; it changed everything around me and inside me. The ice began to melt and turn into water.
It made me think how Judas spent three years right beside Christ, yet never really got Who was next to him. If he had, he would not have betrayed Him.
Judas was not ready to take Christ as the Son of God. Sometimes, people have a wall that stops them from taking in what is right in front of them. I know this happens a lot: the Lord comes knocking, but they will not open the door.
One must be ready to see the light.
Pride destroys that.
When Christ spoke to me, the grace was so vast I simply cannot lose it. It carries such force, such power! I am ready to pay the price, to suffer, to take insults and grief, but I will not give this up.
Archimandrite Sophrony Sakharov
The most striking part of meeting Archimandrite Sophrony was not his voice, but his face. In India I had seen how gurus and holy men looked — they were like masks. They gave out only a bit of everyday wisdom, but they did not try for love or go through pain. But when I saw Father Sophrony, I knew straight away that he had suffered to receive that face of love. He was not some spokesperson for a philosophy or an idle dreamer; his face was not a mask, it was alive.
I want my face to be like Father Sophrony's when my time comes, and I know the cost is steep — only suffering and sorrow can really change a person.
- Reading your book, I saw you felt Father Sophrony's unconditional love. Is that so?
- Yes, absolutely. He took me just as I was. More than that, he became my servant. Now I see Orthodoxy means seeing others as better than yourself. I felt that from Father Sophrony.
A student from Romania once made me a wooden cross, and on it are carved the faces of Elder Sophrony and Saint Silouan of Athos. But Father Sophrony is not just on the cross; he is in my heart.
- Do you still feel connected to him now he has gone?
- Oh, I feel he is alive. Love does not die; it is endless, it goes on forever.
For me the heart of Orthodoxy is a personal encounter. That feeling started with Father Sophrony. He became my guide, a living picture of what love looks like.
The world does not need systems; but it does need living examples of love, people who can show us what it is. Like Jesus Christ showed the Father's love by dying on the cross, we need others beside us to show us love. Love only comes through meeting another person.
To me, a person is like a fish, and religion is an aquarium — the fish is held by rules and laws.
But Orthodoxy is not a religion but a Revelation, a freedom, because love is above everything else.
A Christian is a fish in the open sea.
Emotional performance
- And what is love? How do you, Klaus, see it?
It is a steady struggle — against putting yourself first, against the passions — all to become a true example of love. For me, Father Sophrony is the measure. I try to reach this and move closer to him. Love is what can change a person. And that only happens through the heart.
I was just over at the Reigning Church, looking at the icons. At once, I thought: "These are friends I know well." I saw the icon of Saint Mary of Egypt — I lived as she did, and she became my sister in spirit. I was in San Francisco at the relics of Saint John of Shanghai and felt a bond with him. And when they opened Saint Spyridon's reliquary, and I touched his relics… it was as if he just put his arms around me. He became a friend, too.
Here is the difference: religion dictates, "You must, you have to." But our Orthodox Church is not a religion — it is a living body of faithful people. And inside, there is a love that pulls you in. You cannot escape that pull any more. It is a bit like a hoover, you know? The way it sucks all the little bits and pieces into itself. God is the hoover, the suction is His love, and we are all the little bits.
Some priests say, "Do this, do that," and people back away. Wise priests know love draws people in.
It is only when people feel that love that they will come and the churches will be full.
When I sat beside Father Sophrony, and he put his arm around me… and it was like a shot of pure grace and love, straight into me. I felt that love, and it has never left me. It is a personal bond, a connection, a meeting — something that stays forever.
Meeting with the monastery's spiritual father
- Klaus, is mercy stronger than justice?
- Yes. Mercy is far greater. Love holds a higher place than law. We need the law, of course; it is there to protect us. But love is higher. Father Sophrony showed this. If you go to Athos and start playing rock 'n' roll guitar, they will chase you off. But Father Sophrony knew I was a musician. He said, "Klaus, bring your guitar." In the refectory, I played rock 'n' roll. That was only possible with him. He accepted the whole person, with all their interests. That is mercy, above all justice.
- You travel all over the world, doing missionary and charity work, and witness to the Orthodox faith and life. Do you know the fruits of these encounters?
- Father Sophrony gave me his blessing to travel and share my story. When it comes to the miles I have covered, I like to compare myself to the Apostle Paul (he smiles). But sadly, when you look at the quality, I am not anywhere near what he managed to do. I get emails from people, telling me how our meeting affected them. Some of them even come to visit.
Sometimes parents pressure their children: "You must go to church," and that pushes them away; later they abandon faith and lose touch with God. So many who had left the Church have come back after reading one of the books, or after meeting me. Some women have even gone on to become nuns in Orthodox monasteries.
If you want to win people over, you cannot just lecture them. You need to meet them where they are and show love in words they understand. Like Jesus Christ, who became human to be with people on equal terms. He humbled Himself because, due to sin, people could no longer come to the Father. Father Sophrony gave me the same example when he said, "Bring your guitar and play."
Performing a song
The key to another's heart is to become like the other.
But you cannot just put on an act; it has to be genuine, or people will see right through you. Nobody wants to be told off or given a list of rules; they want to be accepted and loved.
- Why do you think you had to go through dark and difficult times as a child?
- Having lived through all that, I gained a true experience, and it made me who I am. It is how I discovered the way I was meant to go. Now I can show others I have truly walked in their shoes. When someone is going through a hard time, they know I am not just talking about something I have read in a book; this is something I have actually lived. I have lived it in my own soul.
What matters to me is that people can get a sense of God's love, and see that He can turn anything around. Many people now have worries and fears. What happens in the world feeds into this. So showing God's love matters more than ever. I am eighty now — life is nearly done — everything is coming to an end. But while I am here, I want to give all I can and share this message of Love.
- What do you hope for during your trip to Belarus? What would you like to share?
- I am trying people's hearts. From Father Sophrony I felt acceptance, and I want others to feel the same.
Autograph signing
There are saints who heal others. I asked Father Sophrony why he did not heal people. He answered, "What good does it do if I restore someone's body and they still die at eighty or ninety? There is no benefit if a person is healed but does not come to Christ. But if I can win their heart, that will last forever. That is bigger than healing."
I have been close to death so many times — I have stood in front of armed bandits, I have made it through a fire… The one thing I really want to say is this: God is great, and God is Love. We cannot put into words, or even begin to measure, how huge that love is. Our God is magnificent.
Father Sophrony said you must go out to people and tell them that faith is not only about morals, ethics, culture, tradition or church rites. And of course, all those things are a part of it. But more important is your own relationship with God, getting to know Him for yourself. It is about being in conversation with God, having a living link with Him. God is alive; He is not somewhere distant — He is right here. If you have lived this yourself and speak from the heart, it can touch another person and change their life.
With the journalist
Interview by Olga Demidyuk
Photographs by Maxim Chernogolov
