The repentance of Saint Mary of Egypt is something quite out of the ordinary. In all my years serving in the Church, I have seen people turn up in a complete mess, quite out of their minds, and our Lord gave them a chance to begin a new life. They changed completely. Of course, they were not walking on water or living in the desert, but you could see that the Lord had given them the strength to fight sin and their own ego, and you could see the difference with your own eyes.
And when you see that kind of outcome, it really does build up your own faith. At the end of the day, we all need to see God at work with our own eyes from time to time; it is something we really need, particularly when we ourselves are finding things very hard.
We are all unwell, both spiritually and physically. A state of sorrow is more usual for us than a state of joy. It is much harder to rejoice than to weep. Joy is already something very high, beyond us.
Through this long fast - abstinence, sobriety, and holding back from earthly pleasures - the Church readies us for heavenly joy. It will come to us when we reach the Bright Resurrection of Christ. But we need to work at keeping this joy throughout Bright Week, through the whole Paschal time until the Ascension and, in fact, throughout the whole year.
Orthodoxy does not mean a gloomy, harsh repentance where we do not see anyone. What matters most is the joy in the Risen Christ, which comes to a person when he humbles himself and feels that God loves him and is always near.
We are always looking for someone to blame for our sins, or for the trials and sorrows we have to live through.
When you try to make an effort with your soul and get closer to God, troubles do increase; that is true. It is like that law of physics, is it not? For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you want to get somewhere, if you are not afraid to press on, put in the work, really knuckle down spiritually and fight sin, you have to realise that sin is not just going to give up. There will be a battle. People begin to see things in themselves that surprise them. They might have led what seemed a quiet, upright life, thinking of themselves as decent people who love God and those around them. But once they start to be part of Church life, to go to church, to take part in spiritual life, everything falls apart. They find out they are not so upstanding after all; they do not quite know who they are - the masks fall off. To see one's faults and ugliness is hard for a proud one; such a sight can leave them hopeless and downhearted. That is how it goes in life.
Here, you have to keep going right to the end. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say; so if you have decided to follow Christ, then go all the way. You see, it is easy enough to rush in, stack up prayer rules, and look like a saint, only to suddenly find you cannot manage a single thing… In that state it is very hard to humble yourself and say, "Yes, Lord, forgive me, I am still a little child, I have put on clothes that are not mine." You need to know your limits. So, it matters a great deal to listen to those who have grown in spirit and to ask for a blessing before you begin times of fasting, self-control, and spiritual work.
From the replies of Archpriest Andrei Lemeshonok to questions from readers of the website
